Saturday, September 19, 2015

The Dates From Hell!



"Are your breasts real?"
"So... like what you see?"
"I have to reschedule our date but know I'm thinking about you one way or another"
"How about we meet at the Path station?"
OK, so returning to the dating scene at the wonderful age of 58 is more than a notion! A lot of people think once you're over 50 everything stops working (if you know what I mean). Well I'm here to tell you THAT'S A BOLD FACE LIE!! Sorry for yelling but that's the kind of thinking that gets my panties in a bunch (if I wore them but THAT'S another blog too!) Anyhoo, the four statements above were actually uttered to me. You see, I decided to join the online dating scene. LORD KEEP ME NEAR THE CROSS AND TAKE THE WHEEL!!
So here's what have happened (yes I know that's bad English). I won't mention the sites I have used because many people have been very lucky so more power to you! The first quote was from a very nice gentleman and we were on our second date. I think we both knew it was NOT going any further. As we left the restaurant he says to me "Can I ask you a personal question?" and then it came... "Are your breasts real?" Well... needless to say I had no words. I was stunned! Speechless! A little flattered because they are! But still... ewwwwww!
Gentleman #2. This was a doooooosy! We had planned to meet at a restaurant and it was going to be a double date. You see I'm sometimes a little nervous if there hasn't been much conversation prior to meeting but I was open to trying "new" ways of thinking in 2014! So the double date was with a good friend and her husband and me and my date. I had jokingly said to my friend if you hear me say "wow I can't wait to have my Hagen Daas tonight" you'll know the date is OVER!!
So after many texts back and forth with my date, him being an hour late and then texting me to meet him outside of the restaurant (I think it was so I could see his car) he sits down at the table. When all the introductions and pleasantries were done, he leans over and whispers in my ear... "So, like what you see?" NOOOOOOOO!!!!! God help me!! I still have to eat dinner with this person! Oh, did I mention our date was at 9:00pm (originally 8:00pm) but he was wearing SUN GLASSES!! So... It was a Haagen Daas night!
I don't know how people do it nowadays! While it's exciting to meet new people it's also scary and depressing. I would love to meet Mr. Right I just don't think it's going to happen online. Not to mention I'm not really interested in men my age. Call me the C word (Cougar) if you must. I just prefer the energy of younger men. I try to keep myself in good shape and unless I find a gentleman my age who has done the same... sorry, not interested. Yes I said it! Keep in mind I'm not looking for a 20 year old! But under 50 is NIIIIICE!! I digress!
So, Mr. #3. Now some people say give him a second chance. Perhaps he just didn't choose the best words. But here's what have happened. We had three great dates and after the third one I didn't hear anything for a week! Then a few sporadic texts. After making a date for a Saturday I received this text (after I texted to see if we were still on) "I have to reschedule our date but know I'm thinking about you one way or another". Hmmmm... not sure I know what that REALLY means. But I think if he were really interested I would be hearing from him more often.
And last but not lest Mister #4. I had been chatting with this person online for a few weeks. Said he was an attorney... cool. Broke our first date because he was "working on a case"... OK... stuff happens. Broke our second tentative date... had to spend time with his daughters. Oookaaay. Finally decided on a third date. Now to me if you have broken two dates already, you might want to come with your A game for this third attempt! Well... NOT SO MUCH!! Not only did he not get back to me until the day of the "alleged" date but he wanted to meet where??... At the Path station???!!! Now there was a time (not so long ago) that I might have considered this and tried to reason it out in my own head. Perhaps he knows of a cute restaurant down there (wherever "there" is) or perhaps... perhaps... perhaps you... Nope can't think of a reason to meet in the Path station!! So I suggest we pick a more appropriate time for a "proper date" where we can choose a restaurant for dinner that we can both agree on. And here's the response (not word for word but you'll get the gist) he says "Well given the way we've met I would prefer we meet first to see if we like each other and then we can make a "proper date". I don't want to waste our time and money. I know that's not romantic but... "
AAAAAAAND... SCENE!
Needless to say... no date. So I've decided to get rid of my online dating accounts and let the Universe take care of it. I'll go out more because I realized I'm not going to meet anyone at home in my pajamas!
PLEEEEEEEASE someone tell me WHAT THE... ? So my journey continues. But my question is, what's a woman over 50, preferring the company of younger gentleman, to do?! If there is anyone out there who has a formula for dating over 50 in 2015 please share.
In the meantime, stay tuned for the more ACT 2... Now What?

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